


my heart feels like a keyboard smash

by orphan_account



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-01-29 05:13:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21404755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: asjkdasdajksdkj, you know?holy shit are there people that feel like this most of the time
Comments: 6
Kudos: 4





	my heart feels like a keyboard smash

it's the small moments where i realize i'm surviving this time

if i was broken once i can handle being broken again

and the kids aren't alright plays

while i fold every notebook page about her in half and place them in an envelope

write "a study of you and old writing" on the front

<strike>i don't know what to do with it so it's just here like do i give it to her?? do i burn it for eliza hamilton vibes?? do i keep it?? i don't know</strike>

and i might be sad and a little bit bitter

but i'm not dying

<strike>i mean we're all dying slowly, memento mori and all, but still</strike>

and my hands are not shaking

my hair is pulled back and painkiller plays and i feel okay

i feel like dancing again

and i can!!! it's 11 pm and i'm dancing and procrastinating doing homework and scrolling through m.g.'s tumblr and nobody can stop me

and nobody can ruin this moment for me

things might just be okay someday

i can't predict the future and i don't know who i'm going to keep talking to and who i won't

but i'll survive the panic attacks in class

and there's nobody to text about it which sucks but i'm surviving and that's all i care about

i'm dancing to sunday best and i'm fucking happy (11:06)

i think this is progress

and i'm a jumble of figuring myself out even in the dumbest ways

like why did i stop listening to best friend anyways it's really good 

wow 11:11 am i a trendy middle schooler yet

young dumb and broke reminds me of molly and friendly's and theslap.com and i'm just content

i can breathe right now

i want to immortalize this moment in writing

it is good and i am happy

and even though it may not last

it shows the anxiety and the panic and the sadness are not always here (all time low)

these are the moments worth living for

**Author's Note:**

> playlist - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4C1SDvNpuURZ9vz4c1ljHR?si=I5h30sTSSy27HlzL0PfN2A


End file.
